Hexagram 17.3 — Following (Third Line)
Sui · 三爻 — Letting go of the lesser to gain the greater
随卦 · 六三
Read from the bottom upward. The highlighted bar marks the third line (三爻), which is the focus of this page.
If You Just Cast This Line
The third line of Following marks a pivotal transition point. You stand at the threshold between old attachments and new alignment. This line speaks to the necessity of release — not as loss, but as strategic choice. You cannot follow what is worthy while clinging to what is familiar but lesser.
The oracle presents a clear exchange: abandon the boy, gain the man. Abandon the immature, the comfortable, the merely adequate — and open yourself to what is mature, substantial, and truly aligned with your deeper purpose. This is not about rejection for its own sake, but about making space for what genuinely serves your growth and direction.
Key Concepts
Original Text & Translation
「系丈夫,失小子。随有求得,利居贞。」 — Bind yourself to the man, let go of the boy. In following, seek and you will obtain. Benefit comes through staying correct.
The image is one of deliberate choice between two directions. The "boy" represents what is immature, superficial, or merely entertaining — relationships, projects, habits, or identities that once served but now limit. The "man" represents what is mature, substantive, and aligned with genuine development. You cannot hold both. Following requires choosing the path of substance.
Core Meaning
Line three occupies the transitional position — the boundary between lower and upper realms of the hexagram. It is neither firmly rooted below nor clearly established above. This creates both opportunity and danger. The opportunity is conscious choice; the danger is trying to straddle incompatible commitments.
The core teaching is about trade-offs. Growth often requires releasing what feels safe or familiar. The "boy" might be a comfortable job that no longer challenges you, a relationship pattern that feels known but keeps you small, a creative project you've outgrown, or a self-image that no longer fits who you're becoming. The "man" is the more demanding, more authentic path — one that requires more of you but offers genuine alignment.
This line does not advocate recklessness. "Benefit comes through staying correct" means your choice must be grounded in integrity and clear purpose, not impulse or escapism. You're not abandoning responsibility; you're redirecting loyalty toward what truly deserves it.
Symbolism & Imagery
The symbolism of boy versus man is not about gender or age but about developmental stages. The boy represents the playful, the easy, the surface-level — what entertains but doesn't transform. The man represents the mature, the challenging, the substantive — what demands your best and calls forth your depth.
In the structure of Hexagram 17, Following arises when Thunder (movement, arousal) rests beneath Lake (joy, openness). The third line sits precisely at this juncture — where initial excitement must give way to sustained commitment. It's the moment when infatuation must mature into love, when inspiration must become discipline, when interest must deepen into mastery.
The imagery also speaks to focus. You cannot follow two masters. Divided attention produces mediocre results in both directions. By releasing the lesser claim on your energy, you free yourself to follow the greater with full presence and power.
Action Guidance
Career & Business
- Audit your commitments: identify projects, roles, or partnerships that once made sense but now drain energy without producing growth. Be honest about what you're keeping out of habit versus genuine alignment.
- Choose depth over breadth: this is a time to consolidate focus. Release the "interesting" side projects that dilute your impact. Commit fully to the work that genuinely matters.
- Upgrade your standards: if you're working with mentors, collaborators, or clients who keep you comfortable but don't challenge you to grow, consider whether it's time to seek more demanding partnerships.
- Make the hard call: if you've been hesitating between a safe path and a growth path, this line says choose growth — but do so with clear intention and proper preparation, not impulsive escape.
- Communicate clearly: when you shift allegiance or focus, be transparent with those affected. Clean endings create space for clean beginnings.
Love & Relationships
- Assess what you're following: are you staying in a relationship because it's comfortable, or because it genuinely supports your becoming? This line asks you to be ruthlessly honest.
- Release immature patterns: if you've been relating through games, avoidance, or surface-level connection, this is the moment to choose mature, direct, vulnerable communication.
- Choose partners who call you forward: the "man" in this context is anyone — romantic partner, friend, or community — who sees your potential and holds you accountable to it, not those who enable your lesser habits.
- Don't hedge: half-commitment to one person while keeping options open with another is the essence of "holding both the boy and the man." Choose, and commit fully.
- Trust the exchange: what you release may feel like loss initially, but the space it creates allows something more authentic to emerge.
Health & Inner Work
- Abandon quick fixes: the "boy" in health is the fad diet, the miracle supplement, the shortcut. The "man" is sustainable practice — strength training, sleep hygiene, stress management, real food.
- Release comfort habits: identify the behaviors you use to soothe or distract (scrolling, snacking, binge-watching) and replace them with practices that genuinely restore (walking, reading, creating, connecting).
- Commit to depth practices: if you've been dabbling in meditation, therapy, or somatic work, this line says stop sampling and commit to one path deeply enough to see transformation.
- Follow what's hard: growth often lives on the other side of discomfort. Choose the workout that challenges you, the therapy that surfaces real material, the practice that demands presence.
- Trust your body's wisdom: "staying correct" means listening to genuine signals of health versus ego-driven pushing or comfort-seeking avoidance.
Finance & Strategy
- Consolidate positions: if you're spread across too many small bets, consider closing the underperformers and concentrating capital in your highest-conviction ideas.
- Upgrade your information sources: stop following hype, noise, or entertainment-focused financial content. Invest in substantive research, quality data, and disciplined analysis.
- Release low-yield relationships: if you're in partnerships or deals that looked promising but aren't delivering, have the courage to exit cleanly and redirect resources.
- Follow proven principles: the "man" in finance is time-tested strategy — risk management, position sizing, diversification, long-term thinking. The "boy" is chasing trends and tips.
- Seek and you will obtain: this line promises results, but only if you're willing to release what doesn't serve and commit fully to what does. Half-measures produce half-results.
Timing, Signals, and Readiness
The third line often appears when you've been straddling two paths for too long. You know intellectually what needs to change, but haven't yet made the emotional or practical commitment. The signal that it's time to act is a growing sense of internal division — the exhaustion of maintaining incompatible allegiances, the frustration of diluted results, the quiet knowledge that you're settling.
Readiness looks like clarity about what the "man" represents for you — not a vague aspiration, but a specific direction, teacher, practice, or commitment. It also looks like honest acknowledgment of what the "boy" is — the comfort, habit, or identity you've been unwilling to release.
The oracle says "in following, seek and you will obtain." This suggests active engagement, not passive waiting. Once you've made the choice, pursue the new path with full energy. The universe responds to committed action, not tentative exploration.
When This Line Moves
A moving third line indicates that your moment of choice is catalytic — it will shift the entire situation. The transformation from Hexagram 17 (Following) when the third line changes produces a new hexagram that reveals the nature of what emerges after you make your choice. Consult the specific resulting hexagram in your divination to understand the trajectory.
Generally, a moving third line suggests that your willingness to release the lesser and commit to the greater will unlock a new phase. The stuck energy that comes from divided loyalty will resolve into forward motion. Expect that others will notice your shift — some will support it, others may resist or question it. Stay anchored in your knowing.
Practical advice: make the transition clean. Don't ghost the old commitment or hedge with "maybe later." Complete what needs completing, communicate clearly, and then turn your full attention to the new direction. The energy you free up by ending the split will surprise you.
Concise Summary
Hexagram 17.3 asks you to choose maturity over comfort, substance over superficiality, depth over distraction. You cannot follow what is worthy while clinging to what is merely familiar. The oracle promises that if you release the lesser with clarity and commit to the greater with integrity, you will obtain what you seek. This is not about reckless abandonment but strategic focus — directing your finite energy toward what genuinely deserves your loyalty and presence. Make the choice, make it clean, and follow through with full commitment.