The Tao Te Ching
君子居則貴左，用兵則貴右。
兵者不祥之器，非君子之器，不得已而用之，恬淡為上。
勝而不美，而美之者，是樂殺人。
夫樂殺人者，則不可得志於天下矣。
吉事尚左，凶事尚右。
偏將軍居左，上將軍居右，言以喪禮處之。
殺人之眾，以哀悲泣之，戰勝以喪禮處之。
Fine weapons are instruments of ill omen; all creatures detest them. Therefore, those who possess the Tao do not abide by them.
The superior person favors the left in times of peace, but favors the right when using weapons. Weapons are instruments of ill omen, not the tools of the superior person. They use them only when there is no other choice.
Peace and tranquility are to be valued above all. Victory should not be glorified. To glorify victory is to delight in killing. Those who delight in killing cannot fulfill their will in the world.
On auspicious occasions, the place of honor is on the left; on inauspicious occasions, it is on the right. The lieutenant general stands on the left, the commander-in-chief on the right. This means that war is treated with the rites of a funeral.
When many people are killed, one should weep for them with sorrow and grief. Even after winning a battle, one should treat the victory with the rites of a funeral.
Force and coercion are inherently destructive tools that should be regarded with caution and distaste, never admiration.
Lao Tzu categorizes weapons not as symbols of strength or glory, but as "instruments of ill omen."
This perspective shifts the narrative of power from domination to tragedy.
Even "fine" weapons—technologically advanced or aesthetically pleasing tools of destruction—carry the energy of death.
To the Taoist, reliance on force signals a failure of harmony and natural flow.
True power lies in alignment and influence, not in the ability to break or coerce others.
When we admire the tools of dominance, we corrupt our own spirit and invite resistance from the world around us.
A manager who relies on threats of firing to motivate staff creates a toxic culture that eventually collapses.
A nation that glorifies its military might often finds itself in endless conflicts rather than enjoying peace.
Conflict should only be entered into when absolutely necessary, and even then, it must be approached without passion or anger.
The text states that the superior person uses force only when there is "no other choice."
This is the doctrine of reluctant necessity.
It is not pacifism in the sense of total passivity, but a strict discipline of exhaustion: have all other avenues been tried?
When action is taken, it must be done with "peace and tranquility" (tian dan), meaning without the heat of anger or the thrill of aggression.
Acting without emotional attachment to the violence ensures that the damage is minimized and the conflict does not spiral out of control.
A surgeon cutting into a patient does so dispassionately to save a life, not to inflict pain.
A parent physically restraining a child from running into traffic acts out of necessity, not out of a desire to dominate.
Success achieved through harm or conflict is not a cause for celebration but a solemn occasion requiring grief and reflection.
This is perhaps the most radical teaching in the chapter: treat victory like a funeral.
Usually, winning implies a party, parades, and pride.
Lao Tzu inverts this, reminding us that every conflict involves loss—loss of life, loss of relationship, or loss of harmony.
To celebrate victory is to "delight in killing," which severs our connection to the Tao and humanity.
By mourning the necessity of the conflict, we maintain our humanity and prepare the ground for reconciliation.
If we gloat, we sow the seeds of the next war; if we mourn, we invite healing.
A divorce where one party "wins" custody should be treated with somber respect for the broken family unit, not champagne.
A lawsuit won against a former partner is a tragedy of failed agreement, not a triumph of ego.
The Problem: A CEO must lay off 20% of the workforce to save the company. The board wants to frame this as a "strategic pivot" and celebrate the new efficiency. The leadership is tempted to view the layoffs as a "victory" for the bottom line, ignoring the human cost and dehumanizing the departing employees.
The Taoist Solution: The Taoist approach treats this like a funeral. The CEO performs layoffs with solemnity, acknowledging the pain. Instead of "spinning" the news, they speak with "peace and tranquility," offering support without hiding the tragedy. By refusing to glorify the "efficiency," the CEO preserves the dignity of those leaving and the trust of those remaining. They act because there is no choice, not because they delight in the power.
The Problem: A partner in a divorce is obsessed with "winning" every asset. They feel a rush of adrenaline with every legal motion, viewing the process as a battle. They brag to friends about "crushing" their ex-spouse, unaware that this aggression is destroying their peace of mind and traumatizing their children.
The Taoist Solution: Recognizing the legal battle as an "instrument of ill omen," they use it only because communication failed. Instead of celebrating legal victories, they approach proceedings with a heavy heart. They stop trying to humiliate the ex-spouse. When a judgment favors them, they do not gloat but accept it quietly, mourning the death of the marriage. This shift from aggression to solemnity de-escalates conflict and protects the children.
The Problem: A content creator receives hateful comments and false accusations. Their instinct is to "destroy" the trolls with aggressive comebacks, mobilizing their fanbase to attack. They desire to humiliate the attackers to prove dominance, but this only feeds the cycle of toxicity and drains their emotional energy.
The Taoist Solution: The creator views blocking tools as weapons—necessary but unfortunate. Instead of engaging in a "flame war," they moderate comments dispassionately, without anger. They do not make content mocking the trolls. They treat the necessity of censorship as a sad reality, not a sport. By refusing to glorify the conflict or feed the drama, they maintain tranquility and prevent negativity from defining their space.