The Tao Te Ching
將欲弱之，必固強之；
將欲廢之，必固興之；
將欲奪之，必固與之。
是謂微明。
柔弱勝剛強。
魚不可脫於淵，
國之利器不可以示人。
If you wish to shrink it, you must certainly first expand it.
If you wish to weaken it, you must certainly first strengthen it.
If you wish to discard it, you must certainly first promote it.
If you wish to take from it, you must certainly first give to it.
This is called subtle clarity.
The soft and weak overcome the hard and strong.
Fish cannot be removed from the deep pool;
The sharp weapons of the state should not be displayed to the people.
Lao Tzu reveals the hidden mechanism of change: things must reach their extreme before they naturally turn into their opposite.
This is not merely a paradox, but an observation of natural law; when a pendulum swings fully to the right, it has no choice but to swing left.
We often fight against the current state of things, trying to force immediate change, but the Tao suggests riding the momentum to its tipping point.
If something is powerful, do not attack it directly; let it expand until it exhausts itself and collapses under its own weight.
In history, empires that expand too quickly often crumble because their resources are stretched too thin.
In arguments, shouting louder usually signals that one is about to lose control, and silence will inevitably follow.
True strength is not found in rigidity or brute force, but in the capacity to yield, adapt, and endure.
We are conditioned to believe that "hard" means strong and "soft" means weak, yet nature shows us that water wears away rock and the flexible willow survives the storm that snaps the oak.
Hardness is brittle and prone to breaking because it cannot absorb impact, whereas softness is resilient because it integrates the energy of the opposition.
To be "soft" is to be strategic, conserving your own energy while the "hard" opponent burns theirs away in futile aggression.
A judo master uses the opponent's aggressive momentum to throw them rather than meeting force with force.
A wise negotiator agrees with minor points to disarm the other side's hostility before steering the outcome.
Real power and influence are most effective when they remain hidden deep within, like fish in the depths or weapons in a sheath.
Displaying one's advantages or authority prematurely invites resistance, envy, and theft from others who feel threatened.
The "deep pool" represents the source of life and mystery that must be protected; once the fish leaves the water, it perishes.
Keeping one's "sharp instruments"—intelligence, strategy, and resources—hidden ensures they remain effective when actually needed, rather than being dulled by exposure.
A master chess player never reveals their trap until it is too late for the opponent to react.
A secure leader does not need to constantly remind everyone of their title to command respect; their presence speaks for itself.
The Problem: You have a coworker who is loud, domineering, and constantly tries to expand their territory or influence at your expense. You feel the urge to fight back immediately, creating a toxic conflict that drains your energy and makes you look petty to management.
The Taoist Solution: Apply the principle of expansion before contraction. Instead of blocking them, allow them to take on more projects than they can handle or speak at length in meetings until they run out of substance. By giving them the space to overextend, you allow their aggression to become their downfall. You remain the calm, stable force (the soft overcoming the hard), ready to step in when their inevitable exhaustion or error occurs.
The Problem: A teenager is pushing boundaries, demanding more freedom, and rejecting authority. The parent's instinct is to clamp down harder with strict rules and punishments, trying to force compliance. This rigid approach often fuels the rebellion, creating a power struggle where the teen strengthens their resolve to fight back against the control.
The Taoist Solution: Use the wisdom of "giving to take" by adjusting your approach. To guide them back to safety, you must first grant them a calculated measure of the freedom they demand. By allowing them to experience the natural consequences of their choices in a controlled way, they learn the limits of reality on their own. You maintain the "deep pool" of a supportive home base without displaying the "sharp weapons" of authoritarian control, allowing their rebellion to naturally exhaust itself.
The Problem: You are in a high-stakes negotiation and want to secure the best possible terms. You feel the pressure to immediately demand your target figure and list all your requirements upfront. You worry that if you do not assert dominance early and show your strength, you will be taken advantage of or viewed as weak by the other party.
The Taoist Solution: Practice subtle clarity by concealing your "sharp weapons"—your bottom line and leverage—until the right moment. Start by listening and "giving" the other party the feeling that they are leading the conversation. Let them expand their offer and exhaust their arguments. By appearing flexible rather than rigid, you gather information about their constraints. When they feel secure, you gently guide the final terms to your advantage, overcoming their resistance through patience rather than confrontation.